COLUMBUS -- It wasn't long after her arrival on campus before Carin Phlegar began feeling blue. The West Virginia native remembers calling her mother almost every day -- both at work and at home. She began missing classes, and during winter break, she decided not to return to Ohio State.

Phlegar didn't burn out. And it wasn't that she couldn't make the grades. Instead, like thousands of young people leaving home for the first time, she was homesick.

"I just needed to go back home for a while," she said. "It wasn't Ohio State that I didn't like. I just needed to grow up a little. And I did."

Last winter, Phlegar, now a 20-year-old anthropology major, returned to Ohio State.

"This time, I didn't rely on others to help me make friends and get involved. I did it myself," she said. "And now both my brothers live in Columbus, which keeps me connected to home and my family. Now, I really only go home for special occasions or if it's been more than a month since my last visit."

Phlegar's feelings aren't uncommon.

Thousands of students going off to college for the first time will experience homesickness or separation anxiety on some level, said Louise Douce, director of counseling and consultation service at Ohio State.

"Some students are surprised by it because they see themselves as independent and because they are excited about being on their own," Douce said. "They're shocked by how much they miss home, their friends, family and parents, or just the ambiance of the place."

Separation anxiety, associated mostly with young adults age 17 to 21, is the sense of uncertainty or uneasiness, sometimes with specific fears of being away from a place that feels like "home."

It's not something that discriminates by gender, Douce said. The only difference is in the way men and women show it. "Women may talk about it more and are more likely to seek help, and guys may suffer more in silence -- which doesn't help with feelings of alienation and loneliness."

"You definitely hear about it more from the women," said Conor McFerran, a second-year resident adviser from Washington D.C. "I'm sure it happens as much with the guys, but you just don't hear about it. That's why I try and encourage all students to come in and talk with me the first couple of weeks they're here."

The way students approach friendships also is a factor in how they handle homesickness, Douce said.

"Women form relationships by sharing information about themselves, and men form friendships by doing things with each other," she said. "For this reason, men often deal with feelings of homesickness on their own.

"That's why it's so important for students to seek out and nurture friendships. Some students may go home too often and not give the campus a chance. If they stay on campus more and gradually reduce their contact with home, they'll be able to create a place to nurture themselves here," Douce continued. "Young people need to see home as their safety net, not their nest."

Douce said these students' feelings are more about emotional safety than physical safety, but sometimes manifest themselves as feelings of physical safety.

"They need to make 'here' feel like home. They need to establish an emotional community -- a network of friends and wise people they can go to for advice," she said. "They need to discover new favorite places where they can rejuvenate and relax, and establish a routine that balances their minds, relationships, and physical and spiritual selves."

Douce said she and members of her staff train Ohio State's resident advisers (RAs) to recognize and work with students who experience symptoms of separation anxiety. But their training doesn't stop there.

McFerran said all resident advisers go through two weeks of rigorous training before students arrive autumn quarter. They're also required at attend workshops throughout the year.

"We do mock interventions and role play situations in which new students experience different levels of homesickness," he said. "Then we regroup and talk about what we found effective."

Douce and her staff also talk with parents during summer orientation. "The challenge for Mom and Dad is to help their child build their self-confidence and feel comfortable in making their own decisions.

"It can be hard for parents, when their child calls home with a difficult decision, to let them handle it themselves," Douce said. "They need to resist the urge to rush down to campus and solve the problem unless there's a clear and present danger to their child's safety."

The university plans an intensive welcome week to ease transition to college which Douce considers effective in curbing some sadness about leaving home.

"We'd like to see students connect to the university within two weeks," Douce said. "But if there's no connection by six weeks, you really need to worry about them."

McFerran said that it's important to get students involved in their hall community. "We want students to think of their dorm as their new home and the people on their floor as their new family -- to create a new support system."

Unfortunately, some students' homesickness becomes greater than merely adjustment to their new surroundings, Douce said. More serious signs of trouble include sleeplessness, a desire to stay in their room, fear, weight loss or gain, drug and alcohol use, or an eating disorder. "That's when counseling would be a good idea," Douce said.

Most of this can be prevented if parents and students take the time to plan and talk about an upcoming move, Douce said.

"Students shouldn't deny that they're going to miss their friends and family.

They should think about how they're going to maintain contact, with home while forming new friendships," Douce said. "If they do, it could really make a difference."

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